Laser Beam Focused (Again!)

This past week was crazy.  I was given much less foods per meal and had to “up” my workouts so I was feeling quite “heavy” and low in energy as the days went on.  I’m told this is normal the final week’s leading up to competition.

I did quite well; if I should say so myself.  Although a couple of the days, I enjoyed an extra Quest bar so I could make it through.  I know that sounds ridiculous; since it’s really a “healthier” alternative to something off track; but just having the additional bar would make me feel like I wasn’t as “good” as I could have been.

Yes, OCD to it’s extreme but in this case; I think it fits.  Yesterday was a less than proud day and I am not going to lie and pretend it didn’t happen.

I made dinner for the family and decided to “taste” the end result.  What’s a little taste, anyway, right?

WRONG!!  It’s NOT on track with my training schedule and I was very disappointed.  Then, I didn’t eat my 6th meal as usual but instead had my Quest bar and some black coffee…

AND “nibbled” off a couple corners of a cookie.

WHAT??  I’m sabotaging my goal!  What is happening?

Feeling defeated, what do I do?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  I went and tried on my brand new competition swimsuit for the first time ever.

Timing…I really have good timing!  I’m sure you could guess what happened.  I felt like a fat-ass.  Literally.  I felt like my “rear end” looked HUGE in the tiny little scrunch butt bikini bottom!

I still went on to practice my strut in my heels and then proceeded to text my trainer how I felt.  She asked for photos.

 I sent some.  She told me that I was looking good; but I knew the “truth”.  I was not happy with my day and the lack of control that I maintained.  Still, she comforted me by saying that this week would be really HARD.

Gee, thanks.  But it actually helped.  I now know that I must be serious to the nth degree.  No “nibbles” or “extras” of anything.  Even if it’s something I’m allowed to eat.  I have to follow the plans.  And listen to what happens this week; starting tomorrow.

I will be drinking 2 gallons of water tomorrow.  (guess I won’t be traveling far from any restrooms!) And I will be eating protein and veggies every 2 hours all day long.  Nothing else.  No Quest bars.  No carbs at all (sigh…I so miss my pancakes these days!).  I know I’m refocused.  Maybe the mishap yesterday helped to solidify my end goal of being laser focused.

In my workouts today; I felt it.  Although, the energy is lacking; I’m laser beam focused like never before.  I felt like “Rocky” as I ran the treadmill this afternoon.  There was no stopping me!!  And my foods today?  Spot on!!  Only 1 Quest bar and I know it would be my last until after competition so I could have easily “talked” myself into just “one more” since they are “allowed”…technically.  But I withheld.  Instead, when I felt hungry; I enjoyed 5 egg whites and some spinach.  Exactly what was written down for me.

Now, we begin the last week.  Tomorrow begins the final stretch.  I’m excited, nervous but willing to get on the stage.

After I practice some more of my strut….

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