Is it Graduation Season yet???

Whoa! It’s been awhile since I last posted and I realized I left you hanging with my “panic disorder” announcement….

Did you think my issues went array??? Not so much! I’m back and I’m so glad to be here…although I really hadn’t “gone” anywhere to tell of. I just have a busy life, just like you do, and have to really plan my tasks accordingly or the day (aka; my kids and hubby) “eats” it all up before I get a chance to realize it.

Yes, I ended about my panic disorder and how that has definitely brought me to where I am today and giving me an awareness that I know I would never have had the patience to understand. We all fight our “inner demons” and battles; large or small.  We all have the same choice to either lie down and let it beat us; or stand up and fight like you’ve never fought before…

And you WILL win!

This is an example I want to instill upon my children. Yes, I tell them quite often that they need to be strong; stand up for what they know is right; think in a positive light; etc…but there is nothing better and more lasting than good ol’ experience!

Take for instance, my 18 year old daughter. She has been through a lot of moving around while attending high school.. and mind you, high school is ONLY 4 years!!! But we have been in and out of the country many many many times and let’s just say it hasn’t done well for her school credits…as a whole.

Now, don’t think for a second that I am complaining, because I am most definitely NOT! (although I’ve heard through the grapevine that many have thought my writing about our recent moves were negative…NOT!)  I am thankful for everything our family has done. I know that it has taught us so much and it continues to do so. My children have experiences that will last them their entire lives and we have all come together as a family in a new way completely.

Back to my daughter and her less than stellar high school credits. The first time we withdrew her for our overseas adventure, she was a freshman in high school and we left just prior to year end finals. Although we had returned soon enough and re-enrolled her back to her previous school; she was starting off the year behind the rest due to the fact of final scores missing.

The second time we decided to move, she missed more than a semester and although we tried to enroll her in school overseas, it proved to be far too complicated due to the last few years of high school and the credits needed to graduate at her level. (that just means she would have had to attend school overseas for an extra year or more to catch up to their standards and obtain their assignments and scores). She has re-enrolled one more time this past January and let me tell you, this girl is a trouper!!!

OMG!

Seriously, her counselor helped her tremendously (and we could never have done it without her help!!); she assured us that my daughter would indeed earn her diploma this school year but also warned us of the work load that was to come.

And she wasn’t kidding…

It seems like she went into overdrive starting this past January and hasn’t stopped since. In fact, the work load just continues to INCREASE as the time ticks closer to graduation day. But, it isn’t deterring my daughter from her goal of graduating with her class. And I could not be more proud as a mother. Talk about a lesson of life and commitment!!

She wanted to graduate with her friends and since it was such a deep desire within her, she has decided to give up (for now anyway) time with her friends on the weekends, staying up late/sleeping in late, and just acting like a “normal” teenager. She has decided, instead, to start up a workout program with me and follow the meal plan that is included. This is NOT a “diet” but a way to follow the best guidelines for her meals, food choices and portion sizes.

All in all, I have to say that my daughter has become my hero of the moment. I don’t know many people who would do what she is doing and with a great energy and drive that I know will help her continue into her early adulthood following her graduation ceremony.

This serves as a lesson for us all.  She took a difficult situation and made a solid decision to see it through to the end.  Are you able to do something this challenging without wavering and throwing in the towel; for a reward at the end of the struggle? I know I’m pushing harder these days because of her 😉

and guess which parent will be sobbing like a baby on May 28th at a local high school graduation? And I will do it proudly…and maybe without mascara!!! 😉

 

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My Panic Disorder; Part 1

So, where do I start?

It seems like it’s always been an issue with me; panic and anxiety.  I remember the issues starting at the age of 18, but not sure if it was any earlier.

The earliest memories I have of my anxiety was when I’d try to fall asleep at night and I’d wake up in a full panic; sweating and out of breath. I would try to “catch” my next breath but it seemed like I would run out of oxygen.  This would only make me feel more out of control and I would begin to worry that I was going to die. I would begin to move around to get out of the feeling and this would only increase the issues.

My mom at that time was really worried about my episodes. I would be inconsolable and fight any help from anyone and wouldn’t want anybody to look at me as I was in the height of panic.  I called 911 a few times and was rushed to the emergency room; only to be told later that I was fine.

It’s so difficult to try to explain the feelings and sensations and I know that those of you who have experienced this issue will understand completely.  The irony is, that when I felt “good” and think back to the previous episode; I imagined that it must have been something I could have handled better.

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But the next episode would hit and all rationale thoughts and feelings would be out the door.

The worst part of it all, was that there were no explanations for my episodes at that time.  I remember visiting the doctor multiple times and explaining these issues and they would sit there, puzzled, looking at me with no help for what it could have been. That would make me feel more anxious; not knowing and thinking the worst each time. How did they know I wasn’t going to die when they didn’t even know what was wrong with me???

One doctor sent me to a heart specialist and they have me an EKG. From that test, they concluded I had a heart murmur and put me on medication to help me.

That did nothing for my episodes. I would go into full panics and then wonder what was going on when I was clearly taking care of my “heart issues”.  Being 19 at that time and tired of being run around; I stopped taking my medication. That made my mom angry and scared that I had just stopped taking medication that was prescribed to “help” me.

It turns out I didn’t have MVP. (not “most valuable player” but “mitral valve prolapse”) lol

It was through my years of searching for an answer that I began to stumble upon the mere idea that I might have a panic disorder. When I was pregnant with my second child, I remember hearing a radio commercial of a woman who was explaining point-blank my mysterious “issues.” Could this be it? I wondered.

She was selling a program with cassette tapes and workbooks that was meant to “heal” your anxiety issues and allow you to live “episode” free.  I ordered that plan asap!

And, it did help me to understand the many reasons that were responsible for my anxiety. I realized it went so much deeper than just a “quick fix” and although I knew at that time what was causing my stress, I was in for another many years before I finally got to the bottom of it and able to live a “normal” life without ever worrying about dealing with another episode again.

I will share more in my next post about what I did to get help and how I finally overcame this powerful hold over my emotional and psychological state of panic.

Tell me below if you suffer or suffered from any form of this or if you know someone who has. My reason for sharing this now is to help anyone who may be fighting the battle alone and not knowing how to get help. You are not alone and it is treatable.

The Beachbody Classic

Drum roll, please!!!

I am soo excited to work towards competing in the Beachbody Classic this coming June!!

At the end of last year, I had decided on competing in the Australia WBFF this coming month but due to many changes in living situations and family restructures; I decided it was definitely NOT the time to take on such a huge challenge.

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Now, I’m happy to announce that I can do my own version for our June competition through Beachbody. This started out for the first time last year; when participants who completed the “Body Beast” program competed on stage as a fitness competitor would. The excitement and success was overwhelming and they are not only bringing it back for the second year, but allowing challengers to use ANY Beachbody program to prepare.

I recently completed 2 rounds of the new “21 Day Fix” program and love that it follows loosely a fitness competitors style of training and eating. Since this is the case, I will be following the “container” system meal plans and I’ve added “Asylum Volume 2” for the month of April to my training regime.

Holy CRAP!

I’m sore EVERYWHERE and it’s only day #2!! Mind you, I’ve completed Insanity (numerous times) plus Asylum part 1 but this is ridiculous!!! I don’t think I did ONE crunch or sit-up yesterday but I woke up with the most sore abs EVERRRRRR!!!! lol

My journey back to the stage will be shared with you here and I look forward to getting some of my challengers to join me with this special event. Message me if you’d like more information on possibly attending or even joining me on the stage 😉 Don’t think you can’t either…anyone can do this and I will be happy to coach you along!

April will be filled with Asylum Volume 2 and then May and some of June will be a hybrid version that will be shared with you soon enough.  Containers, workouts and challenges….OH MY!!!