Motivation is a myth!

It’s New Year’s Eve and everyone is running around, excited to kick off the New Year with some amazing goals and dreams.

Screen Shot 2015-12-31 at 8.58.17 AM

This is the year I finally lose the weight! This will be the year I succeed in my business! I will commit to being healthier, reducing stress, making more time for myself, eat better foods, be a better person, start to meditate….

On and on it goes. The problem, we think, is our MOTIVATION. Right? We are motivated to start because of a new day and a new year. What better time to re-engage with what we have been putting off? While I do agree that it is exciting and it is a start…what happens when our motivation lags? What happens when life happens and we get steered off course? Family commitments come up unexpectedly; what then? Our kids get sick or we get stuck at work longer than expected and our planned time to do what we resolved to do is pushed off.

Screen Shot 2015-12-31 at 9.02.30 AM

What then?????

All of a sudden your plans to succeed goes from regular to non-existent. Believe me, I know what it’s like to have a really good routine and then something unexpected happens. Maybe you miss a few workouts and then all of a sudden you are in a rut again. So my question is this…

How do you get back in the game when you fall off track?

And if you think you won’t, you’re truly in denial! 😉

Motivation, in my opinion, is a state of temporary emotion. For many of us who have dealt with anxiety and depression (hands up, over here!!), we really need to stop relying on this “feeling”. Instead, we need to focus on our actual plans and start to listen to our inner thoughts more often than we do. For example, I love to exercise but I didn’t always. There are still days that I only have time at 5am to fit in my workout but when my alarm rings and I am warm in my bed; why on earth would I decide it’s a good idea to get uncomfortable out of my cozy slumber and go sweat like a fiend at the crack of dawn?

Why indeed? These are the moments we must practice for. I have trained myself to know that if I choose to hit “snooze” and keep sleeping; then I am sleeping on what I want most. The discomfort I am avoiding is only temporary. It’s at these times I must dig in and start my self-talk. (and at 5 in the morning, this is not an easy feat!)  This can happen at any time of the day so here is what I usually say to myself:

Why don’t I want to do anything? Did something trigger me feeling this way? Am I mad, sad, upset or defeated? Has someone said something to me to make me feel this way? Have I dropped the ball somewhere and now I’m afraid to face what has happened since? Am I burnt out? Do I need some self-care? 

Screen Shot 2015-12-31 at 9.03.39 AM

Asking questions like these will help us find an answer and we can then deal with the problem. The problem isn’t that I don’t want to work out at 5am…it was a good idea the night before so why would that change? Maybe I’m too comfortable and the discomfort makes me unhappy. But again, it’s temporary. The goals I have and the plans I’ve made will be a trade off for the temporary discomfort and sacrifice of doing what I don’t want in that moment.

So the resolution doesn’t lie in what we want to achieve; but in how we will overcome issues that work to stop us from the goal. What can you do when life happens and you usually would just forget the workout, or extra work hour you had planned for your home business venture? Figure out a “plan b” so that you can just move to that option instead. If my workout gets pushed off because one of my kids were sick at 4am and I was busy taking care of them; I would schedule my workout for later in the day. I would not say, “oh, forget it! I can’t do it now”…I would happen, even if at midnight that night!

Our goals have to be our priorities. Not a “I wish for this to happen…” as most of us do at midnight on New Year’s Eve.

So, let’s reframe those goals, shall we? I would love to connect and hear what your’s are so we can hold eachother accountable. Please send me a friend request on Facebook: or an email to: and let’s start a tribe of successful new friends who hold eachother accountable, no matter what!!!!

Deal? Happy New year, by the way! 😉




Fear; what is it good for?

Failure…or more accurate; epic failure.

That’s the point that moved me back to focusing on the areas of my life that needed me most. Have you experienced failure?

I know that we all have in some form or another. Small failures are normal in life. But small failures mean that we are only taking small steps and staying safe because of the numbing fear of more failure.

Can you relate? Have you ever wanted something and were too afraid to do what it takes to achieve what you wanted? Take for example, a baby. When you were young and learning to walk for the first time, did you fall? Now, I don’t know your backstory well enough but I’m going to bet you a million dollars that you did.

Screen Shot 2015-12-29 at 8.19.20 AM

Because we all did! But what if we had decided at that moment that it was futile to keep trying? What if we made the decision that we were going to keep crawling through our lives because it was safer? 

Sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it? Yet, that is what most of us are doing every single day. We give up. We stop trying. Have you tried losing weight and getting fit before and failed? Have you started a business venture or challenge that excited you, only to fail in some way; big or small? Have you tried dating before and failed at connecting with everyone you went out with? Are you at a point right now that is keeping you in a place of complacency because of the numbing fear of failing, yet again?

I hate to say it but in order to achieve anything worth having, you must fail. Here are two major failures in my life and how I was able to overcome them with the support of friends and family:

I grew up extremely shy and kept to myself most of the time. I enjoyed solitude and quiet spaces because it was safe. I don’t know where the fear of speaking up began but I know it was an issue that hindered me through my school years. In high school, I became friends with a girl who pretty much spoke for me. She gave me confidence because she was so confident. I appreciate her to this day for showing me exactly how unscary it is to just speak up and be heard.

Screen Shot 2015-12-29 at 8.18.06 AM

Can you imagine now that I am not afraid to speak in public? I started with teaching aerobic classes when I was just 18 years old. I was scared out of my mind, but my passion for helping others to workout and feel good overcame my fears and I just kept practicing and doing. Did I fail? Of course I did! I would have blunders and mistakes every time I taught for a long time. But this didn’t stop me from continuing because I simply loved it! I now am not afraid to talk openly in public. I am not afraid to stand up and make a public speech. I may get nervous at the start but that doesn’t stop me anymore from still doing; as in the past.

Have you ever felt that kind of passion before? Have you ever been afraid of something but were so passionate about the outcome that it became the focus; instead of the fear? That is the place we all need to live in. This helps us build our confidence for the areas in our lives that hinder us still.

I was also always fearful of not having enough money. I don’t know where this fear began but I remember when my husband and I purchased our first home, I worried that we would make a bad choice at some point or another. We had excellent credit scores, paid all of our bills on time, both worked and provided for our young children and everything just seemed right. Yet, I still feared losing it all.

Be careful what you think about most because it can consume you. Not that I walked around worrying about it constantly; it was more of a nagging worry.

I won’t bore you with the whole story but at the time of the recession; we decided to take a move overseas and needless to say, this was the start of the worries coming to fruition. My hubby’s business hit a bumpy road and slowed down considerably. I was working part-time in the fitness field as a personal trainer and still a group exercise instructor (and if you know anything about this field, it’s not something to write home about in income status). Our move overseas was short lived but the outcome hit us rather hard. We moved again back to where we began and didn’t take precautions to scrimp and save enough to get back on our feet as we would have preferred.

One more overseas trip and a lot more debt accrued and we came back again, only to deal with the hardship of major debt, rebuilding our businesses, and settling into something we had no idea how we would manage.


I can honestly say that faith was my best friend at that point. Faith and our family that had gone through the moves and stresses and ups and downs. We bunkered down together, all 5 of us and decided that we were going to persevere. It hasn’t been easy but let me tell you, we are finally getting to the point of not being consumed by the unknown and have the closest and strongest bonds together that we have ever had. This would not have been possible, had we not failed. So failure, in my humble opinion, makes us better for the process.

Fear paralyzes us into doing nothing. We now go through every day, grateful for our blessings and knowing we are not as “in control” as we think we are 😉 Letting go and just believing we are doing our best with every day has been the medicine to overcome the challenges that life brings our way. I’m not saying I know what the next stage will bring but I do know that I am not afraid of it. I know that I will face the next challenge with support, love and grace. What is holding you back because of your fears?


Will you run with me in 2016?

Every day we wake up to a blank slate of a day; ready to be filled in by what we choose and what we decide is most important to us. Have you ever sat daydreaming about your perfect world? Have you ever wondered if you could truly amount to more than what and who you are today?

I am going to tell you that I believe you can. I believe that we all can. What’s the hang up? Sadly, it’s ourselves. We tend to believe what we’ve learned from our past results and failures. We base our success on what we haven’t yet achieved. We stop before we have ever truly begun. It’s sad, and I hear it from so many others now that I am pushing beyond my own limitations.

Think about it. What would your “perfect day” in your “perfect life” look like  to you?

What time would you wake up each day? What would you do first each day? Where would you live and who are you surrounded by? What are your work hours? What do you consider your successes?

These are just a few of the blank sheets you can fill in and you can start it today.

A new year is upon us…again. A new year to start with big goals that have haunted you before and yet you’ve been too afraid to start because of your past.


Believe me, I can relate with those fears. And I can relate with big goals and big dreams for my life and my family’s lives. In reality, we are the only person who is holding us back. It’s time for us to push for more; to show ourselves that we are capable of so much more than we have become complacent with. Are you tired of being “tired”? Do you believe without a shadow of a doubt that you were destined for more? Do you believe you can somehow succeed in every way you have dreamt about before? Well, I am right here with you and I am ready to blow the roof off this coming year too! As I look back at 2015, I realize that I have grown in many ways and come far in my beliefs, in helping my customers succeed in major weight loss and fitness goals. I have worked with others in learning how to truly believe in their capabilities and in turn, it’s helped me believe more in my own. I believe we all work together, and yet we are only responsible for our own successes or failures.

The goals I have for 2016 are so big that they do honestly scare me. But it’s that kind of “scare” that can easily be felt as excitement and a sheer sense of awe and wonder. I have been playing it “safe” for much too long now and I am looking to focus on throwing off every bit of doubt and fear and diving headfirst into the success pool!

I am creating simple and duplicable systems to share with my team. I want to build an empire and have already laid out the groundwork. I know that I can easily stay where I am today and be “content” enough with my income; my drive and my goals…but I cannot accept that as my dream come true.

My dream come true looks like this: I see a team of women, just like me; who are busy, and driven and love their families. I see us working together on empowering other women to become successful in not only their bodies, health and fitness, but in their lives and in their daily successes. I see us coming together and braving the uncertainties of building a successful business to help others in the same way we are being helped. In doing so, I see my family being blessed for their patience and faith in my perseverance in a “better way” and a life of freedom to be healthy, happy and able to give to others as freely as we wish.

Screen Shot 2015-12-27 at 7.15.37 PM

Are you wondering why I am sharing this with you today? Because I want to ask you a question, is this something you can relate with:

Are you are a go getter?
Are you driven?
Are you motivated for greatness?
Are you independent?
Are you into health and fitness?
Do you believe you are worthy of something greater than where you are today?
Do you have the drive to build a life by your own design?
Do you want to fire your boss?
D0 you want to work from home?
Do you want to wake up and decide how to spend your dream days?
Then I am looking for you! I want you on my team! I want to build this empire together and dream bigger than we’ve ever dreamed before.
I am currently accepting applications for my 2016 New Coach Training Group!
This will be a 3 part training system that will last a total of 3 months which will help you start from a new coach and move towards a business owner and leader using systems and tools that are helping coaches succeed in this business every single day. It’s a choice to do or not to do. You will have access to a system that is easily duplicable and simple to follow. You will learn to manage your time effectively. There are daily assignments, which can be done at your pace. There will be weekly focused group calls, there will be 1:1 calls and there will be access to our team resources and support group.  My goal is to help you, as a new health and fitness coach, succeed as soon as possible. I am not looking for those who need a “boss”; I am looking for women who have a vision of something greater and want to run with me in creating that reality.
If this sounds like you, please fill in the application below to be considered for 1 of these 5 exclusive spots.
Don’t wait to commit.  Don’t put off what you want now and continue to dream about it later. I am running and only looking for those who are ready to run with me. You don’t want to miss out!  Plus, even though it’s the holidays, you want to get signed up in enough time to review the new coach training material and have your game plan ready for the start on January 4th.  
You are meant for something bigger and greater and there’s only one way for you to make that a reality. Successful people are not people that wish for it, they are people that work for it. They are willing to sacrifice some now, in order to achieve more later. Let’s get this started. Let’s make 2016 the best of the best of what is to come! Will you join me?

Are you prepared???

It’s Sunday. It’s Sunday before the week of Christmas. It’s both “busy time” for most and “time off” for us as well. How do we handle balancing having “fun” with staying on track and not going completely backwards this next week or so before the New Year’s resolutions bull crap. (sorry but I am not a fan of announcing a “goal” because others say we must do so. no deep emotions for sticking to it and 90% of people quit by Valentine’s day)

For me, it starts with why am I doing this? Is it worth it for me? Will I feel deprived of some sacrifices I’ll need to make in order to succeed? Because, let’s face it, if we want something that most people don’t have; we have to do what most people won’t do. 😉

Take for instance, working out this month. The gyms are pretty empty. Even if you are not a gym member, do you even workout? Do you walk? Press play on your DVD workout programs? Get outside and just move more? It’s typically the time of year that is cold and “hard” to do so. I hear too many people say things like, “I have so much to do and will get on track on Jan 1″…

That comment means I’m not really interested in being uncomfortable and different. Are you willing to sacrifice some sleep time to fit in a workout in a busy schedule? Are you focused enough to plan out your meals each day or week in order to have all the foods you need prepared and ready for success? Or will you just head to the nearby “drive thru” and pick the healthiest item there? Will you choose to do something different than your family or friends at your holiday gatherings and eat what you enjoy and leave the rest for others to eat; or will you cave in to peer pressure and fill your plate with everything because people are watching?

I challenge you to stand out this year. Be brave and do what you said you’d do that last time you committed to achieving your goals. Jan 1st won’t help you. That is when “everyone” else starts…(and like I said, they will most likely stop very soon)

Here’s my accountability for the week before Christmas. Yes, I am planning my meals and workout times for ever day this coming week….even FRIDAY!!! 🙂 (option: you can opt to use Friday as your scheduled REST day if that is more helpful for you)

Here’s what my week looks like:

Mon: 5am workout

Tues: 8am workout

Wed: 8am workout

Thurs: 8am workout

Friday: 5am workout (before everyone wakes up!)

Sat: 8am stretch

Sun: rest day

Meal plans:

Screen Shot 2015-12-20 at 1.32.37 PM

Grocery run done:


Screen Shot 2015-12-20 at 12.35.23 PM


Post below how you plan to spend this coming week?

Age is just a number…seriously!

It’s Friday night and I am honoring my promise to post every day this month in order to keep myself on track. Today was a long day; some sad news today and just a lot of running around and family stuff.

I know, it’s life.

But one story I want to share with you tonight is one that happened today and really just made me realize that all of this “craziness” that I share in my workouts and foods and just good healthy habits – do, actually have a purpose. Here’s what I mean:

I teach a weekly Insanity class on Friday mornings at the local gym. It’s at 9am and I usually have less than ample energy following this class to come home and complete my home workout with the amount of energy and focus that I would like…so…I wake up at 5am to get my personal workout done.

It’s just 30 minutes and then I sit down with my coffee, breakfast and some personal development reading. This has become a great habit and I don’t have any intention of stopping.


In any case, today started out in the same way and then I complete the morning routine in helping my youngest get ready for school. He does drink a Shakeology for breakfast and that has made me one happy mom! (previously he would only agree to some sugary crap filled cereal OR nothing…not on my watch!). We then head out the door and I drop him at school and then drive to the gym to set up for my class. I was a bit earlier than usual today, so I was in the ladies’ locker room and answering some messages on my phone with my microphone and music for class, sitting next to me on the bench.

A woman walked into the room and obviously, I was sitting right in front of her locker…lol Why does this always happen to me? There are hundreds of lockers and whenever I decide to sit near any of them, the next person who enters the room is usually asking me to move because I’m right in front of their lock! 🙂

silly me!

Anyway, I giggled and moved aside; only to continue focusing on my phone and work. (love that I get to call this “work”! haha) The woman was organizing her bag and belongings and asked me if I was an instructor (after seeing my equipment). I told her that I was, and had been teaching for over 25 years and she shared how her daughter just started teaching some classes too. We talked awhile about teaching and fitness and then I told her, “your daughter obviously has a great role model in you”…

Let me pause for a moment: The reason I said this comment was because this woman was seriously fit. Her arms were sculpted and you could see she had some major definition in her legs and body. I was impressed and believe we all need to share more when we are inspired by others.

Back to the conversation; she actually stopped brushing her hair and turned to look at me. She said, “I quit smoking in 1984.” (to which I was very impressed!) She continued, “I could hardly walk around the block. I would honestly have to stop and catch my breath every few yards at that point. Our work provided us with a track and I began to walk on the track. It was slow, but I stayed consistent to the walking. Mind you, I had to stop every few minutes to breath, and then I would continue on.”

(I was really interested in her story as she seemed so passionate about it and it was quite motivating. I wish I asked for a picture with her because she was that fit and impressive, especially now that I heard she could hardly walk back in the 80’s.)

I shared with her how inspired I was to hear her story. But then she continued,

“I need to keep going. I need to keep working on my fitness goals because when you get to my age, anything that you stop catches up to you quickly.”

This woman clearly couldn’t be over 60.

“I turned 84 this year…” she said.

And that’s where I sat dumbfounded and in disbelief.

Wait, WHAT??? 84 years old??? Not possible!

I actually said that I didn’t believe her. Here was a strong, fit woman who sported a short, white hair style and seemed to be zipping around the locker room as if she had energy to spare. And this was after her workout!


Screen Shot 2015-12-18 at 9.03.33 PM

So now I have a new role model. And today, I learned that there is a reason for my “no excuse” attitude. There is more determination in my goals than ever before – as she’s almost twice my age!!

I believe that once we get to a certain point in our lives, we may tend to believe we “should” have done more. We “should” have spent more time on our health. We “should” have cared more about taking better care of ourselves. But it’s at that point that there’s likely a reason for wishing we had started earlier, or just cared more. It may be a health issue or some major difficulty that can hinder us beginning any new habits.

So, I challenge you, if you are reading this consider your daily habits. Are they making you “better” or are they creating the reverse results? It’s up to each of us to make the necessary changes. But if you are not sure where to start, please drop me an email and let’s start you on a plan that is personalized for you and your goals.

It’s GOOOO time!!

I don’t know what has changed in my energy but ever since my birthday this past month (December 12 for those of you who want to make note for gifts next year!) HA! 😉 ….I am on a rampage to succeed bigger and better than I’ve been settling for. Maybe it’s because I realized (and I thought at first that I was a year weird) I was going to be turning 45 next year and kind of sick and tired of certain scenarios staying the same as they have been. Whatever the reasons were is beside the point. I’m just fired up and on the go!

Screen Shot 2014-10-26 at 11.03.15 AM

Like, fired up enough that I wake up at 4-5am and start working! What?? I know, crazy, right? I would have said the same thing in my “previous” state…(a whopping 3 weeks ago!) but I realized that I can’t stop thinking about all of the great goals and plans I am working for in the next year.

So, I set up my goal planner and wrote down some crazy stuff!!! 10 BIG ASS goals that I will achieve (notice how I didn’t say want or wish??)…Yes, I said that right. I WILL achieve these 10 ginormous goals by next year’s birthday. No, I won’t share them with you now but patience because they will all soon be revealed! bwahahahahahaha! 😀

Anyway, back to reality:

As you probably are aware of, if you know anything at all about me; I’m heavily in love with fitness. Give me a challenge and I’ll do what it takes to crush it to smithereens. (never have I used the word “smithereens” in my blog before so I am pointing it out) Where I usually lack is in my nutrition. This is a big reason I decided to take on a fitness competition just 4 years ago, at the age of 40. No, not to “flaunt” my stuff on stage…although taking those trophies home was kind of a high! It was more about proving to myself that I’m not all about the workouts and flub on my eating. (which, let’s face it; I was doing)

It’s funny because I hear this from so many women who also love fitness. “Yes, I love to workout”…and when asked about their nutrition, the response is usually, “Oh, ya! I eat clean.” Like that means anything!! LOL I eat “clean” too and believe in only whole foods and no crap fillers or artificial stuff ever…(just ask my family, cuz they knowwwww) but we can still overeat the good stuff, right? (I have a lot of stories referring to OD’s on PB; among other foods but we’ll save that for another time) so in my best attempt to put the two together and be completely accountable to my goals (I mean, how much MORE accountable can one get besides stepping on stage with mostly 20-30 year olds in nothing but a bikini and high heels?), I hired an online trainer/coach to help me with my workouts, food plans and how to strut the stage!


That was a journey I will never forget and I am grateful to all who supported me during those 6 months…but you can have your 2+ hour gym workouts and meal plans that make you crazy because of “no carb” days and “low carb days” and eating fish and asparagus every 2 hours ONLY…no thanks! It was fun but I’m back to reality and leading by living real life! lol

What’s up with this rant, you might wonder? First of all, I am on a high for sure and my energy has been through the roof so bare with me. I am taking this time to plan and implement the steps it takes to push forward and prove to both myself, my family, my naysayers..and even YOU; that I can do this. That this can be done. Much like my fitness competition at the age of 40, I can reach life goals like NOBODY else is willing to do at the age of 40+ (mind you, I stopped counting, obviously!)

  1. My fitness and meals will be solid and I’ll be sharing each program that I’ll be doing from here until next December. (maybe longer if you’re nice!)
  2. I’ll also be giving a lot more information on my at-home coaching business. For those of you who don’t know my background, I was a fitness instructor and trainer for over 25 years and although I loved is grueling work and the pay isn’t anything to brag about. lol….I became an at-home online “coach” almost 6 years ago, kind of as a lame attempt at collecting some “extra income” on the side. I basically help people reach their goals while working at home with a proven fitness program, proven and “clean” supplement line and 24/7 online support. It’s a “virtual gym” and has blessed me to be able to quit my full-time career of working early mornings and late nights when my family wanted me home…and actually help me earn back that income (and more) with this “home biz”.

This biz isn’t for everyone and if you’re wondering, yes, it runs like an “MLM” but the only one that I have found that fits my passion, life and goals. The greatest thing about it is that anyone with goals and dreams (and drive) can succeed at this biz! You do not have to be a fitness pro (although this is a great addition to fit pros for sure!), you do not have to be a professional in nutrition either. You simply have got to want to make healthy changes for your life and lead by example. You have to want to help others do the same with your support. The rest is done for us…and the workouts come with their own “personal trainers” to bring into your living room! 😉 I’m not the only one in my household who is doing this anymore…my daughter and 2 sons are on their own programs and using our supplements daily for their own goals and success stories. I’m a proud momma! 😉 12246990_10208268267935240_8306247315003551451_n

Anyway, keep watching cuz I’ll be sharing a ton of my ups and downs and everything in between along the next 12 months but if you have ever wanted to create your own home biz and have a passion for helping others succeed; as well as keeping you on track with your own health and fitness, I highly suggest getting some info sent your way today. No pressure but how will you know if you never find out?

Here’s an application to fill out and I’ll forward the info right away. You only live once and if you hold back because of fear of the unknowns and not wanting to get too uncomfortable; you might become complacent like I have been.

Or are you already there???

Are you addicted to STRESS?

Now that it’s mid-December, most people are frantically running around looking for the best gifts and attending tons of holiday parties to celebrate the season. I find that the hustle and bustle can be quite addicting and fun at first, but then you may get into a stressed out frantic time. and this is no fun!

Screen Shot 2015-12-16 at 12.39.52 PM

How can you change this problem? Start by learning to use the phrase, “Thank you but I can’t…” and this can be for anything that anyone asks of you that isn’t in your best interests. Do you know your best interests? I realize that most women have no clue, and I was one of the most unfocused messes out there just a few years ago!

I am the type of person who likes to “please” everyone and “help” anyone who asks me for it. Can you guess what happened when the word spread that this was something I enjoyed??? You got that right! Everyone and anyone will ask you if you are the “go to” person to help. Don’t believe me? Think about your social circles. Who in your life would you ask most often for “favors” and “help” over the rest? Do you know why that is? One small reason might be that you are comfortable enough with them to ask, but the biggest reason is that they most likely never (or rarely, for that case) say “NO”.

Screen Shot 2015-12-16 at 12.38.25 PM

Does the mere thought of telling someone “no” to a request; even something relatively small make you queasy and light-headed? Yes, I can relate and if that’s the case then you need to take some notes! Your sanity and life’s happiness depends on it! I have a few tips to start using TODAY and help you feel empowered; and less “guilty” of starting this new habit. (sidenote: “guilt” is a response to doing some wrong, taking care of your needs and your family’s needs instead of putting someone else’s request above these is never ‘wrong’)

When you say “YES” to something, did you ever take the time to realize you are saying “NO” to something else? Most often, these things we are saying NO to are the most dear to our hearts…and yet, we continue to do it. Why? Because we worry what others will think of us, right? Do those same people stop their lives for you and do they pay your bills and help you with the most important things in your life?

I would imagine for most of us, this would be a NO. (unless this “person” is your parent and you are still under-age and living at home)

So how do we decipher when to say “NO” (hint: 80% of the time) and when to say “YES” to these requests? I’ll share what I did and how it’s helped me, although I have to keep reminding myself of this as time goes on because it’s easy to let old habits and behaviors creep back in.

  1. Take inventory of what and who is most important to you. To start; get that pen and paper out again and set your timer for 10-15 minutes. Begin writing down everyone in your life who you value; write down every role you hold in your life (this includes any and all categories such as; career, parent, spouse, family role, church/community roles, school, etc) and also everything you cannot imagine living without.
  2. Next, stop for a minute or two and just look at the list. Does it seem overwhelming? Mine did. I looked at all the roles I held in my daily life and wondered how the heck I hadn’t lost my mind yet. I was juggling a million different roles, carrying many people I loved on my back and just kept accepting more requests as the days went on.
  3. Now that you have a better idea of the amount of responsibilities you are working so hard on balancing out…let’s find the roles and areas that are most meaningful to you today. (I say “today” because after 6 months to a year or so, these may shift as life rolls along). Again, set your timer for 30-60 seconds (trust me speed is your friend on this practice) and without judging or overthinking, quickly circle the top 10-20 areas that mean the most to you today.
  4. Once again, set your timer for 15-30 seconds and as quickly as you can, go through the circled areas and “tick” off the top 6-7 areas. NO MORE!!
  5. These are you main focus now. If someone asks something of you anytime following this realization; your first response always sounds like this, “I’ll have to check my calendar and get back to you.” That is IT! Not anything else! Practice saying this to yourself out loud many times and then practice saying it to someone in your life that you can ask for help in this. Don’t think you’ll be able to do it without practice! I am speaking from personal experience!!! The first time I tried to say this, it sounded more like, “ummm….errrr….uhhhh…” Practice will make perfect as you go along so don’t worry if you stumble a few times at first. 😉
  6. Now that you have time to think about the person’s request, look back at your list of 6-7 most important people/roles list and ask yourself this question: “Does this help benefit any of my needs/roles/people circled here?”
  7. If the answer is no, then you aren’t able to do it. If the answer is yes, obviously go for it! How do you say NO? Again, practice this, “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to…” NO MORE! If you try to add any more information here, you will start to either: A) get yourself backed into a corner or B) sound ridiculous and guilty (which we clearly learned is not the issue)

So there you go. Start now and I would love to hear how it goes for you. Sure, you are going to stumble and screw it up a few times. You are going to feel like the biggest a-hole ever (which you are not…but you have created this role for yourself and it will take time to readjust). But over time, you are going to feel quite empowered and you are going to have less stress and more success to move forward in areas that never seem to get much attention.

Have you been wanting to take a class with your significant other but never had the “time”?? Well now you do! Because obviously, this benefits you and your loved one! Have you been promising to take a trip or spend some quality time with your daughter/son but never have the “time”? Now you do!! See how awesome this game is??

Now that we have this figured out, we will be moving on to bigger and better for the New Year…are you nervous??? Share below! And follow my blog for more fun and tips along the way!