Today was a rest day.
Sleeping in was glorious and then it was just a busy day. Hustle and bustle and all that. Nothing that was overwhelming or upsetting in any way but it was just
Do you know what I mean? Like, somedays, I have so much awesome energy and I get so much done. and then there are days when I have less energy and still push myself to do my best and then make sure to do something nice for myself so that I could feel accomplished. Then there are these kind of days.
The kind of days that are seemingly like the rest. Nothing to write home about and nothing to complain about either. But there is so much that is needing to be done; so much that has already been done and then the feeling of just wanting it all to
These are the kind of days that I just want to crawl back into bed and throw the covers over my head. Now, I know I’ve dealt with my share of anxiety and mild depression. This is just a residual sidenote from my hormones, mood swings and high energy and low energy shifts. I used to really get myself down at these times. I’d cry, I’d vent, I’d eat to numb the pain and feel almost inconsolable at times. I used to wonder “what’s the use?” I do all that I do and then I hit this “wall” and everything feels useless and pointless. I feel sad beyond belief (and for no real reason) and I also feel guilty for feeling this way when there is obviously nothing wrong.
I am being totally honest with you. This is how many of us feel but we don’t share because we are embarrassed or feel stupid about it. But it happens and it’s right there for us to feel and work on how to best deal with. I notice that I don’t suffer from these nearly as much as I used to so whatever I’m doing is clearly working, long term. They do pop up maybe 1-2 times a year at the most and that is so much better than the past.
Here’s how I dealt with it today:
I didn’t work out (because I listen to my own advice and rest) but the exercise may have lifted my mood a bit.
I followed my meals as much as I could. I was not 100% accurate but today, it’s better than damaging myself in any other way. It’s def not about “perfectionism” when mood swings come on.
I spent the day with my family when I clearly wanted to be left alone. We went to the mall and I put on a smile and just enjoyed their energy and spirits. It helps to take the focus off of me at these times and focus my attention on others.
We all enjoyed a chocolate and almond covered apple together and it was decadent! I’m sure in the past, I would have sulked at home all day in my sweats and gorged on whatever I could find in the refrigerator, freezer and pantry. Nothing is off limits in these moods. So today, the one apple shared with 4 others was definitely a success and I really did enjoy each bite! My hubby even saved the last piece for me and made quite a big deal about it. (I didn’t even mention how I was feeling with him so I think it’s amazing how he just feels me)
I came home and threw on my pajamas and decided to just curl up on the couch and watch t.v. with my daughter but first…I must blog. Blogging is really starting to help me “talk” out my thoughts, feelings and emotions and stay accountable to what I really and truly want to do. Not just in the moment; but for what I want to accomplish long term.
I’m starting to feel better now that I’m letting it go out into the blogging universe and if you have ever suffered, or if you still do, know that you are not alone. You are amazing and special and deserve to feel the emotions and find the best ways for you to let them ride themselves out.
That is the key. They don’t last very long. They are unbearable at times but fighting them only makes things worse. It can be brought on by stress, being overly busy, hormones and a mixture of these issues. What I will treasure most from this day is, after I put my pj’s on, my husband asked how I was doing.
Why would he ask me this? I wasn’t walking around under a dark cloud and from what I could tell, I was acting as “normally” as I could possibly muster up. When he asked me this, I replied honestly, “just feeling a bit let down today.”
And you know what he did?
He took me into his arms and just held me. It was so awesome to just feel truly appreciated and loved. There are people who truly appreciate and love us all. Let go of those who don’t and hold on tight to those who do.