10 Commitments you MUST make to reach your goals

I am learning more in this decade of my life than in any other. It’s crazy how I could have lived over 40 years, been married over 20 of these years and have 3 grown children and actually have this epiphany that I’m finally freaking LEARNING things that matter.

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Like really deep, right?

Maybe it’s cuz I finally have the time to do so! ūüôā In any case, this year I looked at my life in it’s entirety and measured what I was doing in my day to day that was making me truly¬†happy.¬†When I say “happy”, I mean that feeling you get when you are just HIGH on life. When you can’t sit still because you are jumping out of your own skin. That kind of happy. Do you even feel that feeling any more?

I realized that I wasn’t and it made me reconsider everything, for the first time in my life. Yes, I am blessed. I am so thankful for everything God has blessed me with and I have zero regrets because I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through all that I have been through. I’ve lived the life that I was given and I very much love most, if not ALL of it. Ups and downs are inevitable but unless we embrace these too, we won’t truly understand the value and the lessons that the challenges brought us. I’ll save these stories for another time…

Maybe ūüėČ

So as I sat and truly reflected on everything at the end of last year, I found myself at the crossroads that I’ve been before…at just wanting to freaking DUMP everything I was doing that didn’t make me want to jump out of bed every morning, and start over. You know…like pressing “CTRL + ALT + DELETE”? That’s the feeling that usually plagues me every few years and other than feeling overwhelmed (which is a word I’ve come to despise) I never understood that it was simply because I wasn’t getting enough pleasure and happiness from my daily tasks and work.

So here are the tips I have for you if you are needing to PURGE (or at least refocus) on the areas that are SUCKING life’s happiness and meaning from your bones and spirit. I wrote down every commitment that I was holding onto and how important each of these commitments were to ¬†me and my happiness and future. The one thing that stood out to me was that I needed to cut back on trying to juggle too many roles in my world. I knew in my heart of heart that I needed to let go of my hours of teaching fitness classes, in order to create more time in growing myself and in growing my at home business. It was much like the day I decided I needed to quit my job as a personal trainer.

I knew how hard this would be for me. Here was a position that I held since I was just 18 years of age. That’s almost 30 years of teaching. That’s a part of me that I have known longer than before I was both a wife and a mother. This role always seemed to define me, for some reason. I felt valued, I felt needed and I knew I was helping others find their energy to do more.

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When I made the decision to give notice for my classes, I sat in my car in the gym’s parking lot and sobbed like a baby. This was a part of me. It may sound ridiculous but it was a LOSS. In order for me to grow into my next level of happiness and life’s roles that I knew would ultimately create more success and happiness for me and my family, I had no other choice. But it hurt so deeply.

Whether you’re deeply invested in your career or starting a business, I’ve learned that successful people commit to certain decisions that help shape them¬†into becoming the¬†elite.¬†

Choose to make every moment count. Every day is an opportunity and a gift to master new skills and further our goals. Success comes down to having the right attitude and making smart decisions. I know I made a smart decision because my heart is happier and I can’t explain it more simply and fully than that.

Here are 10 tips to help you find your own inner happiness again.

1. See the good in your life/job/work or find it again.
Find ways to love the life you’re in. If you aren’t getting the happiness you once had, do some research on where you are being drawn to instead.

2. Always risk failures
Commit to letting fear be your motivator but don’t let it become your master when you approach a new opportunity or change in your life. Fear only shrinks our success.

3. Work hard.

Measure your success by your work ethic. If all you are looking for is to simply make money,¬†be careful as the need to make money can become a feeling of “needing to always create more of it”. It’s a feeling of LACK versus REWARD and this does not make for a happy life.

 

4. Be willing to grow
Be committed to thinking bigger than you have ever allowed yourself. Always be grateful for the accomplishments but never satisfied to stop. Continue creating bigger goals along the way.

We are always just beginning the next phase. I know that in my making these changes; I’m not “done” and I will always continue to ask “What’s next?”

 

5. Consistency is the key to success.
It will take commitment¬†to working consistently without breaks and interruptions. It’s only through consistent and diligent work, along with¬†having patience and understanding, that¬†we can continue to climb higher towards more success.

6. Be in love with what you’re doing.
Decide to be passionate about what you do. Passion is the fire that ignites our desire to work harder. Just like a car can’t run without gas, our businesses cannot succeed if we aren’t passionate, focused, and hardworking.

7. Have self-respect.
Having self-respect gives us pride in ourselves; brings more confidence in every area of our lives¬†and brings about the feeling of true happiness through and through. It’s also important to treat others with respect and having integrity in all that we do in order to keep that self-respect.

 

8. It’s a balancing game.
You cannot get where you want to go all by yourself. Learn to delegate activities and jobs. Knowing when to delegate means knowing your strengths and weaknesses.

9. Grow and nurture relationships.
Be choosy when adding others to your team or business. When you find the right team mates and members, nurture them along their goals of success in order to keep morale high and infusing them with your passion, vision and purpose.

10. Always ask for feedback.
Take it from me, don’t be a “know it all”. Professionals actively seek out feedback in order to grow. Every piece of feedback is a seed of knowledge, which is capable of furthering to expand both you and your business. Feedback forces you to keep an open mind and being available to new opportunities that may never have even been an option before.

In order to be happier and more successful in business and in life, commit to making wise and self-aware choices. Our success is a direct reflection of our decisions, our attitudes and our thinking. It’s important to ask ourselves when our business isn’t where we want it to be, we must start making new decisions. In order to grow our work, our happiness; we must first grow ourselves.

I believe this is exactly the next natural step for me too.

 

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Gratitude Wins

Sundays are one of my favorite days of the week.

Yes, although I’ll admit it wasn’t always that way; I’m not a “calm” personality by nature so the fact of just slowing down on an entire day of each week was something that took a loooong time to get used to.

But I am getting used to it and really enjoying it too. ūüôā

It’s a day to reflect on what the past week entailed and what we look forward to in the coming week. It’s a day to give thanks for all that we have; and this was also a difficult issue at certain times of my life.

I mean, how EASY is it to complain and whine about life “not being fair to us” and “what coulda been”, etc? I’ll admit, I was the first one to believe that I wasn’t guilty of this but it turns out.. I WAS! Go figure! lol Being positive means more than just turning our frowns upside down. It’s about getting back up each and every time that life knocks us down. It’s about not taking it too personally and in finding a NEW way to move ahead again. I know I’ve had my share of complaining about everyone else’s roles in my own struggles and stresses. It was always just easier that way, I guess. Then one day, (if you’re lucky) you wake up and realize that the fingers we are pointing out at everyone else are just pointing right back at us.

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Truth.

I used to blame so many people in my life for various reasons. Pick anyone and pick anything and I’m sure I had complained about it before. To my dismay, I’ve been corrected over and over and over again until it just hit me BAM! in the face that much of it had been MY problems in the long run. Was I a ‘bad’ person? No. I was just guilty of allowing certain behaviors to take over what I knew was right and allowing my own negative behaviors to take over when I felt threatened.

And it turns out, I must have felt threatened more often than I really even knew.

The other day, while I was doing my regular self development reading, I came across a verse stating that we cannot expect anybody else to love US more than they can love THEMSELVES.

BAM! Tears started streaming down my face as I realized how many people I had incorrectly judged over my life. How unfair I had treated others by assuming that they weren’t giving it their all or being selfish in their love for me and all I believed to be right and true. I had been unfair in my judgments and am working on righting that behavior in my mind and in my actions.

Today, I reflected on that while we enjoyed,¬†truly enjoyed the family time together. Instead of getting caught up in what most of us¬†think¬†we want more of; power, money, authority, or whatever…

there’s nothing more we need than what most of us have in front of us today; family, love, friendship, understanding.

These are the true blessings in life and should be what we all strive to share more of with others…

and in turn, receive more of it for ourselves in the long run.

Needing LESS and Feeling MORE

I want to talk about the topic of being “perfect” and thinking that “getting more” and “doing more” is going to make us “more”.

That’s a ridiculous word but so many of us are stuck thinking that “if only” we did this or “if only” we could do that…our lives would finally be a success.

We know it’s ridiculous and yet we still worry incessantly about minor details which have nothing to do with our true selves.

Who are you?

I have been doing some deep reflection over the past few years. I am a firm believer in self growth; just as much as I believe in exercise for my body…this is exercise for my mind, spirit, development, belief and more. This is everything I had been missing for years.

Through my learnings recently, I had an epiphany that all of the past few years were actually a blessing in disguise.

Now if you had dared to utter that sentence to me earlier, I would have bitten your head off.

A blessing???

Moving across the world, not once, but TWICE ¬†in less than two years time. From being financially secure to struggling to pay off credit card debts and working to get ahead after the recession hit; not to mention how expensive it is to move overseas. ¬†The stress on our family, the unknown of what was going to happen and where we were going to settle in. The emotions, the guilt, the arguments, the fact that now we are living with a small amount of our “belongings” as most of our stuff is¬†still sitting in a storage box overseas. Why? Because it costs another small fortune to bring it back, plus the fact of getting the grunt work set up to pack it all up and move it¬†when we aren’t physically there.

I know we will have the rest of our “stuff” back. I know we are happy to be where we are, finally free of the unknown and imbalance within ourselves of what we truly agreed upon within ourselves. Life is a struggle all it’s own. So adding this ginormous topic was a heavy burden to carry.

But it was a blessing.

I can now say that with confidence and clarity. First of all, because I see within my children, the joy and understanding they have within their hearts and souls that I could never have taught them on my own. I see my husband, put all outside issues away to focus in on his immediate circle and grow himself in many ways. I see how I’ve also grown and learned to understand areas that I was incapable of accepting before.

So, we don’t have our “stuff”? This was a topic I had been complaining about for the past year or so…until I recently heard a woman’s story that sounded oddly similar to ours. She also moved to another country with her husband and children, and in doing so, SOLD all of their belongings, except for what would fit into a suitcase to move.

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We didn’t SELL all of our stuff.

But instead of complaining about this fact, she now writes about minimalism and how it’s changed her life. Here, I’m complaining that I need my “stuff” and she is proud that she doesn’t have a lot of “stuff”. Their family has also moved back again and now keeps their stuff to a minimum.

But what about my photos, my wedding album, my china, my everything else??

This is what I had been complaining and stressing about. What was this woman saying? She said that they had sold everything except of course, what they could pack into their suitcases and she also saved her china and wedding albums. These items, they put into storage before they moved. Now that they have moved back, she has yet to open the storage and use these “saved” items. She shared that she now asks if that had been a wise choice to save these “things”.

Wow.

I was blown away because this was the complete¬†opposite¬†of what I was saying. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still would love to bring back my wedding items and photos and “stuff”; but the reality is it’s not what is truly important.

The important things are not “things” at all, but are my husband and children, and they are with me now and have been with me the entire time. I had been looking at it wrong because of the outside stresses and elements and unknowns.

The important lessons have been learned and we continue to grow and thrive in these blessings that occur. I now understand that stuff is just stuff. I haven’t seen the stuff in over two years and I’ve been getting along just fine without them. Seems that we tend to put a lot of undue importance in things that don’t really have much to do with our daily lives.

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Amen. I see it now and it has calmed my need to be “perfect” and have all of my “things”.