How would you describe yourself to others?
Would you be complimentary with your words about yourself?
Would you describe yourself as you would a best friend?
Or would you describe yourself “less than” average and apologize for your shortcomings?
Most of us would fit the latter personalities. Why do we have such low self esteem and acceptance of ourselves?
It can be a challenge to love ourselves and to to be our own biggest cheerleaders, right? It took me years to finally be proud of the person I am and take care of myself as I know I deserve. The more that I accept myself and think kindly of myself; the better I become at setting the time aside to workout and eat right! The standards are set much higher if we believe in our best selves.
I used to compare myself to everyone around me. People I knew; people I saw but didn’t know; people in magazines and on t.v, friends, family and just anyone who I could conjure up at any given moment.
The problem with what I was doing was that I compared myself unfairly and in unrealistic terms. These comparisons were always unattainable and only served to make me feel “less than” and “not quite good enough”. Not surprisingly, this left me with low self confidence and self worth.
When we feel this low about ourselves, our abilities and our accomplishments; it’s not uncommon to self sabotage.
Overeating, anxiety, depression; are just a few examples of what happens when we put extreme levels of pressure on being someone or something that is never possible.
We all know that “perfect” doesn’t exist and yet we are guilty of beating ourselves up constantly for NOT being “perfect”.
Before I started my at-home business as a Beachbody coach, I fought to find time and balance in my life. As a busy, working mother; I was always running from one task to the next. Getting everything done in the time I had set for myself was nearly impossible but for whatever reason, I felt it my duty to complete or else beat myself up for failing to do so.
I had three young children, a husband and too many items on my “to do” list. Even with an assistant, these unreasonable tasks I had placed on myself could not be done in the time expected from myself. I would not put this much pressure on my best friend…and yet, like most of the women I know who suffer from these same issues; we expect we are super-human.
In response to dealing with the strains and expectations (which ultimately fed my “failure” mentality), I would then have a food-binge to deal with the stress. I then would fall into the cycle of feeling depressed about my lack of self control and willpower which lead to believing I was a complete loser. Depression, anxiety and negative body images were some of the results of this self-defeating process. Can you relate?
It helps to know that we are not alone and there is always a way. Finding support and balance is key. Staying on track and learning how to pick back up again when we fall down (which will happen along the way); is key to overcoming the issues of our past. There are so many things that we have no control over in life; yet, we allow them to affect us negatively anyway. What gives?
Have you ever been guilty of one or more of these issues:
Wondering what other people think of you? Wondering how other people get to live like they do and believing you have “less than” everyone around you? Wondering why you are “stuck” in a situation when others seem to be living so much “happier” and with less stress than you do? Wonder why others can look and feel so good about themselves; when you feel completely exhausted and unable to keep up with the demands of day to day life? Wonder why you can’t get yourself “together”? Wish you had a job as successful and joyous as “others” do? Wish you made as much money as others? Wish that your cars were as nice as others you are watching? Wish that your home or the location of your home was as nice as someone else? Wish you had better education or success as someone else?
and on and on this list can go.
There are no end to comparisons. What we do not realize, however, is that while we sit and wonder about all of these “happier and more successful” people we are comparing our lives to…there are many others who are doing the same with us.
Don’t think it’s true? Well, you’d be wrong! There will always be someone who feels less valuable than you do. There will always be others who feel like they have less than you do. There will be others who wonder what you have and how you do what you do for your life.
Comparing ourselves to anyone else only makes us feel insecure, miserable, frustrated, depressed, “not good enough” and we feel that we cannot be happy with the things that we have right now. We feel we can’t be “happy” until we reach some magical goal or milestone. This is definitely not the way to life our best lives.
Since I work on my own now, I have to work on myself too. I read books, listen to audio, watch videos, listen to trainings…and what I’ve learned is that we are all very much alike in most ways. We deal with similar issues. We struggle in similar ways. No matter where we are or who we are; we will not be satisfied unless we learn to be thankful for all that we have.
Life is a journey and it has many ups and downs and it’s a process. I believe it’s important to learn how to be happy and be grateful for everything we have right now even if we haven’t reached our ultimate “goal” yet.
Striving to be like someone else or look like someone else is never attainable. Striving to be our best and using others as motivation is fine as long as they’re someone who has done something similar to you, or has a similar body to you.
We need to be responsible for ourselves; how we choose to live, what we choose to do and who we choose to use as “inspiration”, “motivation” or as a “role model”.
There will always be external influences that have the potential to destroy our self worth if we allow them to. This is why I believe that many issues we have are internal. If someone or something is making you feel bad or causes you to have low self esteem then it’s important to have a look at what could be causing it – most of the time it is coming from within.
My goal for my life now as a role model in my family; a leader in my team and an inspiration to others whom I don’t even know yet, is to be positive and reach as many people as possible so that I can help deliver this message of hope and acceptance to everyone. I also want my team and my family to do the same for others in their lives. It starts with us. We can empower others and we can help them to share the same message with others. It’s not an easy task but it’s what has become my passion and I know it’s worth the efforts indeed.
The biggest accomplishment in my life is self love and if I can somehow help others achieve this then I’m going to do it and I won’t stop no matter what!
Self worth and self love can only be achieved from within, it can’t be gained from others.
Everything we choose to do should be from a place of LOVE, not hate. I love myself and my body so I choose to exercise and eat healthy so I can be my best and feel my best. I want others to feel this way too – however that’s achieved because we’re all different and what makes me happy is different for someone else.
Love who you are now and realize that this is a process and the goal is to ultimately be HAPPY – whether you exercise and eat healthy food or not…. you should always do things that make you happy, not what you think will please others.
It’s not about “perfection”, it’s not about comparison, it’s not about being ‘the best” – it’s about doing my best and being “my best”, and loving everything that I am – flaws and all. – This is what makes us human and unique after all!
Who’s with me? Share this message if you care ❤