Another Chapter

So, I’m a typical mommy emotional mess today!

I thought after my first born, who graduated high school last year, with me sobbing like a baby; that this year would be a cinch.

But not so much.

I am sitting here, remembering when they were little. My young daughter and her little brother; playing with their stuffed animals and play toys and just so innocent and eager to please mommy and daddy. Now, I sit here blubbering like a fool and in disbelief at the childhood years that have gone by….too too soon.

I am just so proud. Not sad, not upset, and definitely far from disappointed. The irony is that I am someone who is usually non-emotional. For example, when there are times that are clearly meant to show some tears; I couldn’t will them out if I poked my eyes with my fingernails.

Don’t think I haven’t tried wiling them out…(no, I never poked my eyes with my fingernails, but trying to make a point about this moment)

 

So, here I sit. Thinking back to the previous 17 years of my sons’ life. The day he was born and when my daughter, only 18 months at the time and still a baby herself, was brought to the hospital to visit us. She happily sat on my lap in the hospital bed and my husband brought our son, Philip to meet her…

And she angrily threw out her arms and screamed, “NO NO NO!!!! Go Away!” She pushed him away and just hugged me; wanting me all to herself. It was a touching moment I will never forget because from that point on, they have been so close that the memory of the hospital meeting was almost a story of fiction. When their youngest brother was born, 4 years later, they were a team in keeping him in “check” 😉

I cried last year when my daughter proudly walked across that graduating stage. I don’t doubt that I’ll be blubbering away tomorrow night at my son’s big night too.

I know it is an emotional time for every parent as their child moves onto a new beginning…and closes another chapter in their younger lives. The past five years have been a trying and busy time for our family and I cannot believe the maturity and adaptability levels of our children through it all. We had relocated across the globe; not once, but twice, to set up home in another country. And yet, we returned; not once, but twice, back to where we began because that was what we were meant to do.

It wasn’t easy on us at all. But I knew in my heart how much strength it took on our children’s parts to adapt; and adjust each time we resettled again.

I know that nothing is truly forever, but as a parent, you want the best for your children and want to protect them from all additional challenges that we have control over. (or at least think we have control over)

But each time, they just worked diligently to make up the lost time in school or make the necessary adjustments to the current living situations that were so.  I know that these experiences only helped ground them for life’s changes as will undoubtedly come and go.

So it is not with sadness that the tears flow. It is with great joy and pride of the amazing, young adults that have emerged from those young, giggling children who seemed too innocent to grow up so soon. God Bless the class of 2015.

 

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Is it Graduation Season yet???

Whoa! It’s been awhile since I last posted and I realized I left you hanging with my “panic disorder” announcement….

Did you think my issues went array??? Not so much! I’m back and I’m so glad to be here…although I really hadn’t “gone” anywhere to tell of. I just have a busy life, just like you do, and have to really plan my tasks accordingly or the day (aka; my kids and hubby) “eats” it all up before I get a chance to realize it.

Yes, I ended about my panic disorder and how that has definitely brought me to where I am today and giving me an awareness that I know I would never have had the patience to understand. We all fight our “inner demons” and battles; large or small.  We all have the same choice to either lie down and let it beat us; or stand up and fight like you’ve never fought before…

And you WILL win!

This is an example I want to instill upon my children. Yes, I tell them quite often that they need to be strong; stand up for what they know is right; think in a positive light; etc…but there is nothing better and more lasting than good ol’ experience!

Take for instance, my 18 year old daughter. She has been through a lot of moving around while attending high school.. and mind you, high school is ONLY 4 years!!! But we have been in and out of the country many many many times and let’s just say it hasn’t done well for her school credits…as a whole.

Now, don’t think for a second that I am complaining, because I am most definitely NOT! (although I’ve heard through the grapevine that many have thought my writing about our recent moves were negative…NOT!)  I am thankful for everything our family has done. I know that it has taught us so much and it continues to do so. My children have experiences that will last them their entire lives and we have all come together as a family in a new way completely.

Back to my daughter and her less than stellar high school credits. The first time we withdrew her for our overseas adventure, she was a freshman in high school and we left just prior to year end finals. Although we had returned soon enough and re-enrolled her back to her previous school; she was starting off the year behind the rest due to the fact of final scores missing.

The second time we decided to move, she missed more than a semester and although we tried to enroll her in school overseas, it proved to be far too complicated due to the last few years of high school and the credits needed to graduate at her level. (that just means she would have had to attend school overseas for an extra year or more to catch up to their standards and obtain their assignments and scores). She has re-enrolled one more time this past January and let me tell you, this girl is a trouper!!!

OMG!

Seriously, her counselor helped her tremendously (and we could never have done it without her help!!); she assured us that my daughter would indeed earn her diploma this school year but also warned us of the work load that was to come.

And she wasn’t kidding…

It seems like she went into overdrive starting this past January and hasn’t stopped since. In fact, the work load just continues to INCREASE as the time ticks closer to graduation day. But, it isn’t deterring my daughter from her goal of graduating with her class. And I could not be more proud as a mother. Talk about a lesson of life and commitment!!

She wanted to graduate with her friends and since it was such a deep desire within her, she has decided to give up (for now anyway) time with her friends on the weekends, staying up late/sleeping in late, and just acting like a “normal” teenager. She has decided, instead, to start up a workout program with me and follow the meal plan that is included. This is NOT a “diet” but a way to follow the best guidelines for her meals, food choices and portion sizes.

All in all, I have to say that my daughter has become my hero of the moment. I don’t know many people who would do what she is doing and with a great energy and drive that I know will help her continue into her early adulthood following her graduation ceremony.

This serves as a lesson for us all.  She took a difficult situation and made a solid decision to see it through to the end.  Are you able to do something this challenging without wavering and throwing in the towel; for a reward at the end of the struggle? I know I’m pushing harder these days because of her 😉

and guess which parent will be sobbing like a baby on May 28th at a local high school graduation? And I will do it proudly…and maybe without mascara!!! 😉

 

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